Bullet Proof

I never realised just how much I took for granted or just how difficult simple tasks can become when impaired, I'm 34 and am having to write a list of goals I want to achieve in the next year and it's not like a new years resolution type list or a bucket list, its a list of things I should be able to do, have done and struggle with being no longer able to do.

Top of my list .. walking, one foot in front of the other without wanting to cry, hold my groin in an MJesque pose or waddle like a duck.
It goes much deeper than that though, I'd like to be able to walk without watching each step, without looking where the next movement will land, without planning where and how each foot will go, without feeling unstable, vunerable and weak.

I rarely go out nowadays, I'll do the school run - without that I'd never leave the house at all, but I have that route down to individual kerb stones and flat surfaces, people whinge about the state of our roads in this country, they should try out the pavements some time.
Going further than that though, fills me with dread and I'll do anything I can to avoid it, I live in a small town but all it takes is for someone to walk out in front of me and I'm digging my sticks in to the ground to stay upright. Its unavoidable, people walk out of stores without looking, will stop suddenly to answer a mobile or to peer in to a shop window and I'm left wishing people came with indicators and brake lights as standard.
I don't feel safe, physically or mentally and so I stay at home.

So that's number one - to walk, unaided, without fear.